The Goal: Reconciliation

1. Discuss the way you feel when you know you have to have a difficult conversation with someone. Why do you think that you feel this way about those conversations? 

2. How good are you at staying calm during a disagreement? If you’re not very good at it, what makes it so difficult? If you are good at it, what are some tips you can share with the rest of the group?

3. Read Matthew 18:15-17 together. What stands out about how Jesus addresses handling conflict?

4. Of the 4 steps of handling conflict, (1) Go to the person privately, (2) Take one or two others with you and try again, (3) Take your case to the church, (4) Move on, but keep distance. Which do you feel like in your own life is the most difficult? Why do you find this one to be the most difficult? Also, discuss why step number four cannot happen until you've tried the first three steps.

5. Kaleb said in the video, "There is nothing good that comes from holding on to your anger when someone else has offended you. The only person that you hold hostage with your resentment and bitterness is you." Have you found this to be true in your own life? Discuss the ways that you see bitterness and unforgivness negatively affect your life.

6. Discuss the application from this passage, "God's heart is about reconciliation, not revenge." In what ways do you see this to be true in the character of Christ?

7. Read Matthew 18:15 once more. Discuss this application from the passage, "Gossip doesn't have a place in this process." In what ways do you see gossip to be a toxic trait in your own life? How does it affect the process of pursuing peace and reconciling with other people? What are some things you can do to grow in the area of gossiping if it is a struggle that you currently have? 

8. Read John 13:34-35 together. Discuss the application from the passage, "Everyone involved is still on the same team." Kaleb said in the video during this point, "We don't have to agree on everything but we do have to love each other." Do you struggle to love people you don't agree with? Do you think people in general struggle to love people they don't agree with? Discuss what this looks like practically in the church and talk about the impact this has when we fail to get it right in our lives.

9. Read Psalm 19:14 together. Discuss the three practical ways to live these things out, (1) Be ready to forgive, (2) choose your words carefully, and (3) be direct, but also be kind. Discuss one way you want to live these out more consistently in your own life moving forward. Also take a few moments to discuss the difficulties that you may have with practically living these out in your daily life and relationships.

End the night by praying together over the way that we handle conflict in our community with other believers. Pray for the peace and unity of the church as a whole. Also take time to pray over any specific conversations that anyone in the group has shared that they may need to have with someone that may be hard conversations to have.